Full Moon
by Breaking.Down.Slowly
Summary: We all know what happened to Bella during New Moon, but what about Edward? Let's take a look at just one of many similiar nights he suffered through during New Moon. Takes place two weeks after he leaves.


_Just a very short one-shot about Edward's life during New Moon. This takes place two weeks after he left Bella. He's somewhere in South America at the moment. And if you're wondering about the title, and didn't get the hint, two weeks after a New Moon is the Full Moon, hence the title._

_Don't own Edward, Victoria, werewolves, Newton, or Charlie or Bella, that's all_

He sat in silence, he wouldn't let himself be around his previously beloved music. He wasn't _worthy_ of music. He was scum. He was lower than scum. He was the dust that was _on_ the scum.

Besides, nothing was good anymore. Not since he left _her_. It hurt to even think about it. What was he thinking? How could he leave her like that? Was he insane? Maybe she'd take him back if he went now and begged and pleaded with her. It had only been a week or two, surely she'd be willing if she saw what a wreck he was. Surely she still loved him.

_You fool, you left for her own good. And why would she still love you? The monster figuratively and literally. Not only are you a mythical creature, but you're also a heart breaker. Why the hell would she have loved you in the first place? She's a human, she doesn't feel love the same way, she's probably moved on already. She's probably already forgotten you._

His words came back to haunt him. He told her he didn't want her. He told her it would be like he never existed and he'd done what he could to make sure he went through with that promise. He only hoped he went through with hers.

What if she hadn't? What if she was hurt? What if someone hurt her? What if it was a vampire? What if it was Newton? Or a dog? What if she was dead? What if Charlie had hurt her? What if those doctors couldn't help her in time? Maybe there was another van incident or another Port Angeles incident? Oh God, what would he do if she was hurt? Or worse? He knew he should go back, just to check on her. Just to make sure she was alright and following her promise.

_No, you idiot! If you go back, you'll never leave. You must stay away, no matter how much it hurts. She's fine, she has people to take care of her. People who don't have to worry about killing her every moment of the day. You. Must. Stay. Away._

_Charlie wouldn't hurt her. Neither would Newton, he's too much like a puppy dog. And the wolves weren't around anymore._

Edward tried to convince himself, assure himself, that _she_ was in fact fine.

He shook his head at himself, a sad smile on his face.

_God. Has it really gotten so bad that I can't even think her name?_

He thought about her, her deep, hypnotic, mesmerizing chocolate eyes. He remembered her beautiful, smooth brown hair. It was always so soft and warm and smelled like freesias and strawberries, the smell of her favorite shampoo. Her lips, they were so pink and full, so soft and warm and perfect whenever his cold, stony lips met hers. Her whole body was always so light weight and soft. It was always warm to his horribly cold body, it made him melt. She never _did_ see herself properly, never saw herself for the exquisite beauty she was.

_No, you're not allowed to go there._

He sighed. Tonight wasn't about his self-pity. It never would be. Tonight, he'd protect her without being near her. Tonight, would be about her and Victoria. About her safety and Victoria's death. Nothing else.

He stood, brushing himself off. It was time for another night of hunting, tracking, searching for the woman that wanted his love dead. But he knew that if his love died, _he_ would die. First emotionally, then he'd find a way to kill himself physically. Maybe if he died he'd be reunited somehow. Maybe God would be kind…or maybe he'd already damned Bella's soul.

He sighed once more, it was too late to save Bella's soul, and his own. He looked up at the night time sky, the moon, the stars. The same moon and stars and sky currently over Bella on the other side of the equator.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered to the sky, hoping it would somehow travel to her.

And with that, he ran. Ran from where he was hiding that day, running from his thoughts, running from his heartache.

_Feedback and reviews are love._


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